Dear Celebrities: Your Merch Sucks

Dear celebrities,

Your merch sucks. It is not creative to just plaster your face onto a t-shirt, long sleeve, and a hoodie. As your fans, we are begging you to put something more creative out. Just do a quick brainstorming session before you sell merch for your next hit album. Put some creativity into it.

Now why am I saying this now? Well, Taylor Swift just re-released Fearless (Taylor’s Version), and it is the album of the summer. Seeing as it was one of the most monumental albums of my childhood, I was ECSTATIC for the re-release. As thrilled as I am and was, there is one flaw to her last album drop - the merch design. It takes a lot for the “Artist of the Decade” to disappoint me, so it pains me to say that the merch is bland and lazy.

Taylor posed like the original Fearless album cover and put it on every piece of merch imaginable. Honestly, that’s a great marketing job for the CDs and Vinyls, but why is it on 4 different shirts and hoodies? Where is the flavor? If I’m going to spend $60 on a crewneck, I want it to be plated in gold.

And I’ll admit, I have spent a good amount of money for my favorite artist’s merchandise. However, I only make purchases when I feel that their merch goes against the typical look. The same cannot be said for the millions of fans around the globe.

One of my best friends, Bekka, is a die-hard Swiftie. When Taylor released Folklore, Bekka spent over 200 dollars on merchandise, most of which was spent on getting all eight CD’s just because they all had different photos on the cover. The catch is Bekka doesn’t even own a CD player.

Why should a college student give more money to someone whose bank account already looks like they won the lottery, especially when it looks looks like they made it themselves?

Well, artists know that their fans will buy anything they put out, even if the merch looks worse than Kanye’s Yeezy Sandals. It takes major dedication to pay for merch instead of your bills.

And other people are calling out the lack of creativity. Youtuber, Cody Ko released merch back in 2016 that simply say “merch.”  While it’s look is boring, it got the point across that he was just trying to make money by selling merchandise that would “work for anyone you’re a fan of.”

Genius, and dare I say, more creative than half of the merch other artists put out.

Yes, I’m talking to you, Mr. Harry Styles. Just throwing an Instagram filter over a photo and putting it on a shirt is sad and lazy. Just like the song itself, this Watermelon Sugar t-shirt is not your best work.

Why would fans buy something that could be made by someone that learned how to use photoshop five minutes ago?They want to show off who they are and what music, shows and movies they love. Lyrics and song titles mean far more to them than what you look like. At least this Kasey Musgraves t-shirt looks so bad you could wear it ironically.

And we get it - it’s all branding 101. There’s no better form of “word-of-mouth” advertising than hundreds of fans wearing your face plastered across their body. That’s why it keeps happening, and honestly, it needs to stop.

Do all your fans a favor and get creative. Isn’t that what being an “artist” is all about? Would you even wear what you’re putting out? That is the real question.

So celebrities, please listen to your fans and make something exciting and creative instead of just throwing your face onto a keychain and calling it a day.

Sincerely,

Your Fans